Our dossier was already at the orphanage in Ind*a, and really we were on their waiting list for a referral. This is usually a very exciting step for prospective parents, but for us it was so full of uncertainty, due to all the changes happening with C*RA's guidelines. Our agency had already given us all the information they had, and suggested that we consider other options as well, just in case we had to switch countries.
While we waited for Ind*a to provide clarification on their new guidelines, we explored our option for plan B- Colomb*a. Honestly, it was a really tough thing to do, and emotionally draining to think that we may be switching countries. It was hard to imagine that we may have to say goodbye to the Ind*a adoption program since we are from Ind*a and our heart for adoption lead us there. I thought to myself that this is probably what the Lord has planned for us. He has brought us this far, and I had to believe that he will see us through this journey. So we started considered adoption options from Colomb*a.
I remember listing the similarities that we had with Colomb*an culture. In fact that was one of the exercises we would have to do and write in our adoption plans, including how we would incorporate the Colob*an culture in our home. We had already done this piece of write-up for the Ind*a program already. That December we visited Panama and Costa Rica and I still remember how hubster and I looked around imagining that our child could be from the country nearby, and she will probably have similar features as the smiling faces around us.
As we looked at the list of documents needed for the Colomb*a dossier, it was clear to us early on that we don't have couple of the documents that they require. We were told that they are not very flexible on that. Colomb*a also has a different structure for parent age and child's age at referral. We were A-ok, increasing the referral age range to 3 years. After all, our son had grown a year older as well. At one point, we actually considered changing it to 0-4 years!
Six months later, we were still in a limbo. On one hand, C*RA was still not up an running with their new guidelines and referrals were not being given. On the other hand, we were unable to gather all the documents required by the Colomb*an authorities. We were truly in a limbo. There were a few months of "we have no idea what is going on and what we are supposed to do". Someone (who shall remain unnamed and unspecified) tried to tell us to consider yet another country- Thaila*d. I just about lost it then and firmly said that we will change nothing at this point. It was emotionally draining to consider switching a county. She later admitted that she was wrong in suggesting that to me. Our country coordinator on the other hand is wonderful and very aware of the emotional drain on the families and would have never uttered a word in that direction. I'm so thankful to have been able to work with her.
I still wanted to scream out loud, this small piece of awareness- "people, this is not like going from store to store, there are a lot of emotions and feelings tied to every step during the adoption journey". It was tiring, we were spent, but I had to believe that we wouldn't be in the limbo for long.
Landscapes like this reminded me of Ker*la where I hoped for a referral from.
While we waited for Ind*a to provide clarification on their new guidelines, we explored our option for plan B- Colomb*a. Honestly, it was a really tough thing to do, and emotionally draining to think that we may be switching countries. It was hard to imagine that we may have to say goodbye to the Ind*a adoption program since we are from Ind*a and our heart for adoption lead us there. I thought to myself that this is probably what the Lord has planned for us. He has brought us this far, and I had to believe that he will see us through this journey. So we started considered adoption options from Colomb*a.
I remember listing the similarities that we had with Colomb*an culture. In fact that was one of the exercises we would have to do and write in our adoption plans, including how we would incorporate the Colob*an culture in our home. We had already done this piece of write-up for the Ind*a program already. That December we visited Panama and Costa Rica and I still remember how hubster and I looked around imagining that our child could be from the country nearby, and she will probably have similar features as the smiling faces around us.
As we looked at the list of documents needed for the Colomb*a dossier, it was clear to us early on that we don't have couple of the documents that they require. We were told that they are not very flexible on that. Colomb*a also has a different structure for parent age and child's age at referral. We were A-ok, increasing the referral age range to 3 years. After all, our son had grown a year older as well. At one point, we actually considered changing it to 0-4 years!
Six months later, we were still in a limbo. On one hand, C*RA was still not up an running with their new guidelines and referrals were not being given. On the other hand, we were unable to gather all the documents required by the Colomb*an authorities. We were truly in a limbo. There were a few months of "we have no idea what is going on and what we are supposed to do". Someone (who shall remain unnamed and unspecified) tried to tell us to consider yet another country- Thaila*d. I just about lost it then and firmly said that we will change nothing at this point. It was emotionally draining to consider switching a county. She later admitted that she was wrong in suggesting that to me. Our country coordinator on the other hand is wonderful and very aware of the emotional drain on the families and would have never uttered a word in that direction. I'm so thankful to have been able to work with her.
I still wanted to scream out loud, this small piece of awareness- "people, this is not like going from store to store, there are a lot of emotions and feelings tied to every step during the adoption journey". It was tiring, we were spent, but I had to believe that we wouldn't be in the limbo for long.
Landscapes like this reminded me of Ker*la where I hoped for a referral from.
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| Rainforest in El Pangan Reserve, Colomb*a Copied from worldlandtrust.org |
Oh what a beautiful picture!!! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat an emotional time for you....I wish we knew each other back then. :-) I will say that the Lord has used your difficult time to be such a blessing to others....you are so compassionate and kind....such a blessing to me.
I wish so too that we knew each other back then. I really think that you are a blessing to me, so full of faith :-)
DeleteOh my goodness . . . I completely understand that feeling of letting go of one country, and how difficult that is. Toward the end of our 3-year wait, we were also looking at US adoption and other countries, but we just cried at the thought of leaving India behind. It's always a relief to hear that other moms/parents have had the same thoughts.
ReplyDeleteNancy
Nancy, I did not realize that you also had to consider switching... How awful that feeling is. I'm glad that it all worked out for you! In a way we get so tied to and involved emotionally to the country and imagine ourselves immersing ourselves with that culture. It was tough to consider switching once, let alone a second switch. sigh... I feel for those who have to got through that.
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