In December of 2011 we visited our family in Ind*a in three different states. We were in the land where our child might be, yet we could do nothing. We felt so
helpless. What could we do, who would we go talk to anyway? We had no idea where our case was with respect to C*RA. Our time there was very limited, so a visit to Delhi or C*RA office
was out of question and wouldn't make any sense anyway. Certainly, a visit to the orphanage would mean a
breach of the no-contact agreement with our agency. We were most certainly not going to risk that. Honestly, at that
point, as with many other prior moments of doubt, we had started thinking that perhaps our dream of
adoption will not come to fruition. But all along, each time we were
dejected, someone came along and lifted us up, lifted our spirits and
our hope.
By January 2012, C*RA was starting to accept new applications under their new guidelines. This was great news, but I still worried because it was not clear if we would be starting over again as brand new cases, after all the long wait already. Thankfully, C*RA already had obtained a list of waiting families from the orphanages, and we were one of them, under the old guidelines. I was told that they would try to clear the old files first. That still did not bring us any clarification on what the timeline would be. So in order to guard my poor heart, I did not give myself any time frame of any particular date or month. I'm so glad that I didn't. It is so hard to resist thinking that you will get referral, NOC, or that your child will be home with you next summer, next Easter or next Christmas, etc. It is but natural and oh, so hard to refrain from doing. What worked for me was projecting a much farther out date which would be the farthest end of the possible time range. When we discussed it at home, we always projected the farthest date/month.
* Lesson: Though hard, try to refrain from setting hopes on a particular date or month or even a season (especially holidays) for adoption process timelines, as the entire process varies from state to state, and maybe even from court to court. That is the best thing you can do to guard your heart, and leave it up to the Lord.
By January 2012, C*RA was starting to accept new applications under their new guidelines. This was great news, but I still worried because it was not clear if we would be starting over again as brand new cases, after all the long wait already. Thankfully, C*RA already had obtained a list of waiting families from the orphanages, and we were one of them, under the old guidelines. I was told that they would try to clear the old files first. That still did not bring us any clarification on what the timeline would be. So in order to guard my poor heart, I did not give myself any time frame of any particular date or month. I'm so glad that I didn't. It is so hard to resist thinking that you will get referral, NOC, or that your child will be home with you next summer, next Easter or next Christmas, etc. It is but natural and oh, so hard to refrain from doing. What worked for me was projecting a much farther out date which would be the farthest end of the possible time range. When we discussed it at home, we always projected the farthest date/month.
* Lesson: Though hard, try to refrain from setting hopes on a particular date or month or even a season (especially holidays) for adoption process timelines, as the entire process varies from state to state, and maybe even from court to court. That is the best thing you can do to guard your heart, and leave it up to the Lord.
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Had I shared this with you in person, you would have said something to me... so go ahead and say it in the comment box :-)